Khawater Muslimah 5 - Foul Language ;)

Assalam Alaykom Wa rahmatu Allahi Wa Barakatu Brothers and Sisters =D 

A bad 'wound'  heals, but a bad 'word' does not ;)

"Foul Language" video version =>  
I strongly recommend this video => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_57ZTxPRKHQ

Nowadays when you're with your friends or your daughter's/son's friends all you hear is sarcastic remarks and foul language and a lot of laughter after that.  When you reprimand them for using such language, what do they say? "O come on!  This is how everyone talks! " or "This is how I 'express' myself ", or "We don't mean it in a bad way, we're just joking around with each other !". Subhaan Allaah! Since when did that become a 'joke'? Since when did cussing become a part of a Muslim's vocabulary?! 

Why should we STOP cursing? because guarding one's speech is so important that Muslims will be held accountable for everything they say: “Not a word does he (or she) utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it )” (Qur'an 50:18).

I agree that sometimes we swear/curse because we're angry but the real question is ,did the prophet used to do any of these things? NO! so then how did the Prophet (PBUH) behave? 

Anas bin Malik said: "The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) was not one who would abuse (others) or say obscene words, or curse (others)..." (Bukhaari)

And Abdullah bin 'Amr said: "The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) never used bad language neither a 'Faahish nor a Mutafaahish. He used to say 'The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.' (Bukhaari)

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "O 'Aaishah! Have you ever seen me speaking a bad and dirty language? (Remember that) the worst people in Allah's sight on the Day of Resurrection will be those whom the people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language  or from their transgression." (Bukhaari)

“So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].”( 3:159 ).

When we are provoked and inclined to say something hurtful, let us bite the words off. Breathe deeply, praise Allah, seek refuge from Shaytan. Don’t say those mean words, don’t send that angry email. Because words persist. They root themselves in our brains and wait, ready to spring out in an argument years later.

Instead say as this sweet lady (May Allah bless her with Firdaus, ameen) did, whenever she was upset at anyone, she would say "May Allah Taala show you the light".  she was asked to why she says that when she is angry at someone, and the sweet lady replied "when a person is angry their emotions are at a peak, at that time instead of cursing the person, if you make a duaa for their Hidayaah/guidance , then inshaAllah it will be a Win Win situation. 

There are numerous hadiths regarding foul language and here are some of them ;

Ibn Masoud narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “A Muslim is not a person who slanders, curses, speaks obscene words or is abusive.”  

Abdullah Bin Omar narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “A Muslim is a person whom all Muslims are safe from his tongue and hands.” 

 Mu’adh narrated that "The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) mentioned to him what brings him closer to Paradise and what makes him be farther from the Hellfire, and then he told him: “Shall I not inform you of what controls all that.”  Mu’adh said: “Please tell me O! Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam)”.  So the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) took his tongue (with his fingers) and told him: “Restraint this one.”  Then Mu’adh said: “O! Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam), are we held accountable for what we say.”The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “How are you asking this question?”  People are not thrown into the Hellfire on their faces or noses except due to the result of their tongues ”

Abud-Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet  said, "Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of the believer than good manners. Allah hates one who utters foul or coarse language'" '[At-Tirmidhi].

And as for cursing (i.e. la'ana)  specifically, there are hadiths as well :

Cursing is smthn like ' May Allah disgrace you! " which is unfortunately said constantly by Arab's youth as a joke =(

Narrated Samurah Ibn Jundub (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not curse one another, invoking curse of Allah or Wrath of Allah or the fire of Hell.’ [Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee]

Narrated Abu Darda (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘When a person curses (La’nah; to ask that something be deprived of Allah’s Mercy) somebody or something, the curse goes up to the heaven and the gates of the heaven are closed. Then it comes down to the earth and its gates are closed. Then it turns right and left, and if it does not find an entrance to go anywhere, it returns to the person or thing that was cursed, if he or it deserves to be cursed; otherwise, it returns to the person, who uttered it.’ [Abu Dawood] Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) also warned, ‘Those who frequently resort to cursing would neither be accepted as witnesses nor as intercessors on the Day of Resurrection.’ [Saheeh Muslim]

‘A drunkard was brought to the Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam). He (r) said, ‘Give him a beating.’ Then some beat him with their hands, some with their shoes, and some with (a folded) piece of cloth. When he left, someone said to him, ‘May Allah disgrace you!‘ The Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not help Shaytan overcome him by uttering such words.’ [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

 ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘A true believer  is not involved in taunting, or frequently cursing or in indecency or abusing.” [At-Tirmidhee]

Cursing a believer is a great crime that a Muslim should never dare to commit. To illustrate the enormity of this crime, it is enough to mention the Hadeeth where the Prophet (PBUH)  said: "Cursing a believer is like killing him.”

 He should recall the prohibition of the Prophet (PBUH) in the Hadeeth where he said: “Do not curse one another invoking the curse of Allaah, the wrath of Allaah, or the fire of Hell.”

A few storied of the Sahaba regarding the matter ;

Narrated Sa'id ibn al-Musayyab: While the Prophet Mohammed (peace_be_upon_him) was sitting with some of his companions, a man reviled AbuBakr and insulted him. But AbuBakr remained silent. He insulted him twice, but AbuBakr controlled himself. He insulted him thrice and AbuBakr took revenge on him. Then the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) got up when AbuBakr took revenge. AbuBakr said: Were you angry with me, O prophet of allah ? 
The prophet (peace_be_upon_him) replied: An angel came down from Heaven and he was rejecting what he had said to you. When you took revenge, a devil came down. I was not going to sit when the devil came down.

 Ibn Abi Hatim recorded that `A'ishah said, "Some Jews came to the Prophet and greeted him by saying, `As-Sam `Alayka, O Abul-Qasim.(Death be Upon you O father of Qasim)" ,the Prophet said  `wa `Alaykum As-Sam (the same upon you).'  I said to them, `wa `Alaykum As-Sam wa alla'na (death by upon you too and may Allah disgrace you).' The Prophet said,(O `A'ishah, Allah does not like rudeness and foul speech.) I said, `Didn't you hear them say, `As-Sam Alayka' He said,(Didn't you hear me answering them back by saying, `Wa `Alaykum (And the same upon you)'

Here is what Allah (SWT) said in his holy book about this ;

O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers. [ 49:11 ]

Allah says, “Do not worship except Allah; and to parents do good and to relatives, orphans, and the needy. And speak to people good [words] and establish prayer and give zakah.”(Quran, Al-Baqarah 2:83).

The Quran says, “and speak to them words of appropriate kindness.” (Quran, An-Nisaa’ 4:8). “Appropriate kindness”, what an interesting phrase! The Arabic word is “ma’roofan”. It means speak the truth, but kindly, without arrogance or anger.

Similarly, Allah says, “O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.” (Quran, Al-Ahzab 33:70).

How to STOP this habit of mine then ?!

0  Individuals can try putting a rubber band around the wrist, and every time they curse, snap it.

0 Cut out the curse words and replace with silly words like Oh shoot! , What the bananas! or I don't give a banana's about or using sentences with the phrase "fill in the blank" or just saying the word "beep" instead. or What the French toast or *fudge* and *holy shrimp!*or "go to Jannah/Heaven"

or other such examples.

0 After cursing, stop and repeat the sentence without the curse word

0 Every time you curse, put a designated amount of money into a jar. At the end of each week, donate the money to charity.

0 Follow the prophet's ways of handling anger to calm your mind and quiet your thoughts, so that you do not speak before you think.

0 Use a thesaurus to find more creative words to express yourself.

0 Best for the LAST,  Stay away from people who speak such bad language. Because the more you hear it, the more desensitized one becomes to its evil, until a time comes when its not bad anymore.

I would like to take a moment and thank Allah (SWT) for the success that I've accomplished so far in my videos and thank my fans who supported me by sharing my videos and those who supported me at the beginning as well as those who until this very moment give me their feedback for almost all my videos/articles , Jazakom Allah khair =D

Don't forget to subscribe to my channel on YouTube and Share ..Share AND Share this article/video and to contact me on my e-mail address thegoldengirl157@gmail.com with your feedback or ideas for the next video inshAllah ;)

Jazakom Alah khair =D 

Khawater Muslimah 4 - Why wear the Hijab ;)

Assalamu Alaykom Wa Rahmatu Wa Barakatu brothers and sisters = )

A woman in hijab is like a pearl in it's shell  <3

"Why wear the Hijab " video version => http://youtu.be/W_Qmy3-sCxE


A video that I strongly recommend => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AeEbkPaPgU

A Beautiful Guide on 'how to wear it'  => http://ababilzahra.blogspot.com/2010/11/hijaban-awesome-pride-for-ladies.html

When we as humans do something wrong we try to somehow justify what we did by giving excuses, so I got almost all the excuses that you could possibly come up with from the  lecture by Amr Khalid that gives a reasonable Islamic reply to all the excuses we give ourselves for NOT wearing the Hijab, this is literally said by him I just copy pasted it to my blog  :)


Sorry that it's LONG but you don't have to read it ALL just scroll down to the excuse that YOU came up with so that you don't get bored while reading  =)

First Excuse - I'M NOT CONVINCED OF THE HIJAB

So I'd ask you, ‘what are you?’, You would reply, ‘I'm a Muslim’. What is the meaning of Muslim? A meaning of a Muslim/and Islam is to submit yourself totally to Allah.  Prophet Ibrahim had to sacrifice his son and he didn't understand why he had to do such a thing. So that teaches us how to submit to Allah’s word. I would rather hear you say that you are not strong enough to put the Hijab on, than you to say that you are not convinced with Allah’s own words.

Second Excuse - ‘THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS WHAT IS IN THE INSIDE’

The women who say the most important thing is what is in the inside, that her intentions are always good, and she is a good person, and the Hijab is the Hijab of the heart. And these women say that she prays 5 times a day, better than 60 men of you, and she prays the Night Prayers, and she prays the Sunnah prayers, and she really does all of these things! And she gives charity- But, she says, you know,well  that's enough worship for me!

SubhanAllah. The Prophet (saw) says: You cannot take parts of Islam and reject other parts. You have to take the religion as a whole.

So let us calculate it, you are saying that you are doing a lot of good deeds, etc and that your intentions are good, and your heart is pure. Alright, I agree with you, but I want to ask you one question. Let us calculate this together. Every day you go out every man that looks at your hair and your body- do you take sins or not? Of course you take sins because you didn't obey Allah’s command. And you'll find that the lady will argue: It's not my fault, my intentions are good, it's the man that will take sins for looking at me. No sister. He will take sins if he stares at you because you were attracting attention by exposing certain parts of your body.

Everyday how many sins does a woman who doesn't wear the Hijab  take? Would it go over a thousand sins a day or not? And remember, the man has two eyes! Not one! And the man has a heart that loves and desires and wishes. Can you imagine the sins the woman is getting? I wonder if your good deeds will be enough. Will they outweigh the thousands of sins you are getting every day? I want you to do a little experiment, every day you go out, count how many sins you are getting, on your way out, on the bus/train, at work, on the streets, etc. How many sins do you get for every man that looks at your hair/body?

Didn't Allah order you to wear the Hijab? I am afraid that your good deeds are falling from a torn bag. The good deeds enter the top and escape from the hole at the bottom.

Third Excuse - THE HIJAB AND HOT WEATHER

The woman can complain that she loses her hair when she puts on the Hijab, because of the heat - So come on, do you want me to lose my hair and get bold? So I won't put it on because my hair falls off.

Sister, Allah says: Say that the Hell fire is stronger than the heat of the world.

The Prophet (saw) said: Hell is surrounded by our desires, and Jannah is surrounded by the good things.

Fourth Excuse - COMPARING

The women say that they knew ladies that wore the Hijab and they had the worst of manners, and did the worst of things. So I don't want to put the Hijab on because I don't want to be like them. Okay, I argue to the sister that thinks that: I know people who pray, but do bad things- does that mean we shouldn't pray? Some people go to Hajj so that they can hide under the title of Hajj so that they can do bad things and no one will suspect because they apparently went to Hajj which makes them free from all sins. Does that mean we shouldn't go to hajj? So sister, the wrong is not in the religion, but in the people themselves. So is the hijab bad or the person who wears the hijab is bad?

Fifth Excuse - ALLAH HAS NOT GUIDED ME YET

‘I will put on the Hijab, but Allah hasn't guided me to do so now. So when I am 50 years old and I have enjoyed my life, I'll put on the Hijab’. No, sister, this excuse is totally wrong. Allah says: Allah does not change a people's situation unless they change what is within themselves. You will not put the Hijab on until you change what is within yourself and work towards putting on the Hijab. It's not acceptable for you to say that Allah has not guided you- no, he has guided you and the proof is that you are listening to/reading these words. The reason you are listening to these words is Allah opening the journey of guidance to you. Allah will never leave a person unless He gives him guidance, so it is up to that person to obey or not.

Sixth Excuse - WHEN I GET MARRIED I'LL PUT ON THE HIJAB

A lot of men look for the pious, religious woman who respects herself with her Hijab- more than those men who look for the other women. And Allah has written who you will marry anyway! So you won't marry anyone else except for that person that Allah has chosen for you. Don't be afraid; put your trust in Allah. Allah will give you the pious husband. So when you marry, marry someone who will love you for your faith and respect you.

A man came to a scholar and asked him - If I'm going to marry my sister to someone, who should it be? The Scholar replied, marry her to a man who is a friend of Islam, so if he loved her, he will respect her, and if he hated her, he will not treat her badly.  

Seventh  Excuse - I'M STILL YOUNG

Do you know when you'll die sister? The youth's deaths are increasing! I will give you an example of a girl; a true story that really happened.

This happened in Egypt, Alexandria last year in Ramadan. The man was telling me that his wife is a Hijabi. Living in front of them was a young girl who is not a Hijabi . And the girl has good things inside her heart, like all of our sisters in Islam, but she doesn't understand the meaning of the Hijab and the meaning it has in Islam. So he said that his wife (and this is obligatory for all the women who wear Hijab) had good relations with this girl. She didn't ignore her just because she doesn't wear the Hijab, no, she was friends with her. So one day the young girl had come to ask the wife if she'd come shopping with her to buy a jeans suit. So the intelligent wife who knows that she has to give the girl dawah [knowledge of Islam] agreed to go shopping with her, but under one condition, the girl comes with the wife to an Islamic circle that was going to start. The girl agreed.

So they went to the circle and it was about repentance to Allah. And the girl was so inspired by what was being said, and started to cry until she kept repeating one sentence over and over again: I've repented Allah, please someone cover me. The people told her okay let us take you home and you can put the Hijab on. But she refused, wanting to be covered right at that moment with the Hijab; she couldn't go out without it. So they got her a scarf and a dress, and she left the building with it on. And as soon as she left to cross the road, a car hit her and she died.
I swear this is a true story. She repented before she had died.  So never give the excuse that you are still young, because you never know when you will die.

{ *** A girl should start wearing the Hijab/Scarf when she 


reaches puberty !! }

Eighth Excuse - I WANT TO FOLLOW THE FASHION AND IF I WEAR THE HIJAB I'LL BE OUT OF FASHION

Isn't Allah dearer to you than fashion? I swear when you put the Hijab on you'll have light shining from within you, and you'll be more beautiful  with your Hijab.

Ninth Excuse - I WANT TO FOLLOW THE WESTERNERS

Okay sister, who respects the woman more? Are the westerners the ones who have respected the woman or exploited the woman? Or Islam, who has respected the woman and covered her and liberated her from exploitation ?

Tenth Excuse: I DON'T WANT TO BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF TAKING IT OFF

SubhanAllah, sister, why don't you put it on with firm faith and ask Allah to always protect you with it and never take it off? Of course I'm not saying that taking off the Hijab isn't a sin. Taking off the Hijab is the biggest sin, the biggest sin, the biggest sin. It's the biggest sin because you would be encouraging other women to do the same. Never ever do this; Allah (swt) would hate that.

Wear the Hijab and do these three things to make sure you will never take it off.

1- Having good religious friends.

2- Attending and listening to Islamic lectures

3- Make duaa (supplications) to ask Him to keep your Hijab on and strengthen your faith.

Reference => http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/im-constantly-battling-over-whether-to-wear-hijab-or-not/

At the end remember that it's your right , your choice and your life , I was only trying to give you a reminder and hopefully I gave you that little push you needed to make your decision ;) 

Jazakom Allah Khair for reading/watching the article/video =D  Please help in sharing  this article/video =)


If you have any ideas for the next video/article  then please do let me know by conacting me via my e-mail address ; thegoldengirl157@gmail.com 

Khawater Muslimah 3 - Tawba (:

Assalam Alaykom Wa Rahmatu Allahi Wa Barakatu brothers and sisters =)


Allah wants to accept your repentance <3 


"Allah wants to accept your repentance" video version =>   http://youtu.be/5GtClEIyyAg

I strongly recommend this video => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6t86uNivzs


Brothers and sisters , This is Ramadan a gift from Allah to all of his servants. Those of you who are sinning even in Ramadan  , NOW is the time for you to repent from that sin. I know it's hard, I know it's very tempting to get back to it. I know it's hard to give up your friendship with those people you've loved even if they're your relatives !


Ask yourself "Do they get me closer to Allah or do they help be go astray?! ". By answering this question you will know you're friends/relatives are which of them ! Don't tell me it's hard to get away, Wallah if you ask Allah for his help and you keep holding on to Allah and you do your very best in getting away from them by keeping yourself busy with your lord in this holy month , wallah your heart will soon detach itself from them ! by the grace of Allah the one that will be in the grave alone and in the day of judgement in front of Allah questioned about these sins won't be them , it's you !! only you !! so by the grace of Allah understand that Allah is the one that wants to change your bad deeds to good deeds and we can see that because he gave us this month as a free gift and from following verse we know that Allah is the one that misses you and want you to get to being in track  =D

Allah SWT says in the holy Quran : " Allah wants to accept your repentance but those who follow (their) passions and want you to digress with great deviation. Allah want to lighten for you (your difficulties) and mankind was created weak" [ 4:27 - 28 ]


Another verse is " And turn to Allah in repentance,all of you, O believers, that you might succeed " [ 24:31 ] 


Also Allah SWT said : " so flee to Allah. Indeed, I am to you from him a clear Warner" [ 51:50 ]


Allah SWT saays: " O you who have believed, repent to Allah with sincere repentance" [ 66:8 ] 

so How to repent?


For repentance to be accepted by Allah, one should go through these four stages:

1- Stop the sin.
2- Regretting deeply and truly for the sin you committed.
3- Return to Allah for forgiveness.
4- Strong intention never to return to that same sin again.

What would help in fulfilling the above four stages?

The repenting person should remember three facts: 

1. The grave consequence of sins.
2. The painful punishment for sins and 
3. How week a person is when committing such sins.

Abu Bakr Al siddiq (May Allah be pleased with him), narrated:

"I heard Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) saying: ‘There isn’t a man who, when he commits a sin, rises, makes ablution, and offers two rak'as of prayers, but Allah forgives his sins.’

Allah says in the Qur'an:

"Those (are the true believers) who, when they commit an evil deed, or wrong their souls, remember Allah, and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who but Allah forgives sins? They do not insist upon the sins they have committed, and they know (that Allah is forgiving)." (Qur'an 3:135)


You know on of the things that I truly loved to hear from the Sheikh Al-magamsy s that he said " If you noticed that your nafs(heart/soul) is attached/attacked it to something that related to Duniya and it has become something that really concerns you then put your hand on your heart and pray (O Allah increase my love fore you, and my attachment to you and turn my heart towards you" 


The Dua of Yunus:

The Prophet SAW said in the hadith recorded by At-Tirmithi and others:

The invocation of my brother Dhu-n-Nun, "None has the right to be worshipped save You;glory be to You, far removed are You from any imperfection; I have been amongst the wrong-doers," none who is experiencing difficulty employs it except that Allah SWT would relieve him of his difficulty.

So, Brothers and Sisters ,If there is ANYTHING in  your car, your purse , your mobile, and  in your life that displeases Allah,  destroy it for the sake of Allah !  For " Whoever quits something for the sake of Allah , Allah will substitute him with something better " 


And Remember what Allah SWT said regarding those who fight their nafs to get closer to Allah ;
"And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good." [ 29:69 ] 


If you know Anyone who could possibly benefit from this share this video and make sure they watch the video that I shared above = )


Jazakom Allah khair for reading, don't forget to share and to give me your feedback =D

Oh, And Remember ;  Allah wants to accept your repentance <3 

Khawater Muslimah 2 – Holding grudges (:

Assalamu Alykom wa rahmatu allahi wa barakatu =D 


Holding grudges video version =>  http://youtu.be/Ms2rFOL5IS8


"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die" 

In life, we as humans are bound to get hurt from anyone and most of the time it's totally unpredictable. Do you know why?  Well that's because "every son of Adam is bound to make mistakes/to sin but the best of the sinners are those who repent"

I plead to you brothers and sisters, that you let it go. Because When you hate someone, they don’t feel it . Only you do. It affects only your own heart, until your heart hardens and your vision narrows, and life loses its joy and zest!

Please, put in mind the following whenever someone wrongs you:

**  Always tell yourself : "How can I love Allah SWT wholeheartedly if my heart is occupied with hating this person for doing that to me ,and that person for doing this to me?!" Let Allah be Number ONE in your heart so that you live happily and you woudld be from those who are  described as follows ; [ The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, “Strange is the affair of the Mu’min (the believer), verily all his affairs are good for him. If something pleasing befalls him he thanks (Allah) and it becomes better for him. And if something harmful befalls him he is patient (Saabir) and it becomes better for him. And this is only for the Mu’mmin"]

1. Whatever others have done against you, let it go. Consign it to Allah, then forgive. Whatever you have done against others, apologize and ask forgiveness, and ask Allah’s forgiveness as well. Because just like Allah (SWT) ; [ "who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good-doers)." (3:134)] and in another verse, Allah (SWT) said; [“Pardon them and overlook .Indeed, Allah loves the doers of good. (5:13)]. If you're strong enough go to that person and tell him/her to his/her face "I forgive you" with a big smiley face and hug that person and tell them it's over and that there is no grudge between you. 

2. Thank Allah for allowing you to see that person's true colors. Since now you know the truth ,the next time you come across this person you would be careful with your words and actions and hence would act more wisely (: 

3. Remember that forgiveness doesn't mean that you don't learn from the trial. Because it would be stupid of us to make the same mistake all the time but with new people! Hence, grab that notebook of yours and note down what you learned from the experience so that in the future you do a much better job in such situations. 

4. If that person is a Bad person and you feel that advising him/her won't do them any good since they don't listen etc , then simply try your best to always include them in your dua'as/prayers and make sure to pray for Allah to guide them =]

5. Don't waste your time by making bad dua'as for them, for example: [May Allah make him/her experience triple the pain that I felt] and such. Because you are simply just wasting your time and energy ! 

6. We must never insult them or speak badly about them because the Prophet (saws) was not a person who insulted or cursed others. It was reported in Saheeh al-Bukhaari (6031) that Anas ibn Maalik (raa) said: The Prophet (saws) was not a person who insulted people or used obscene language, and he did not curse people. If he wanted to rebuke anyone, he would say, "What is wrong with him? - may his forehead be rubbed with dust." 

7. Learn from the Prophet and the Sahaba and the tabieen. I've got some really good examples;

• When Yusuf (PBUH) sees his brothers for the first time and after all those years ,his brothers you threw him in the well ,his brothers who plotted against him time and time again. He said; ["No blame will there be upon you today. Allah will forgive you ; and He is the most merciful of the merciful." (12:92)]
• On the day of Fath Makka,the Prophet (s.a.w.) stood at the door of the Ka’bah, holding its frame and spoke at length to his former persecutors humbled before him, explaining several laws of Islam and abolishing all pagan practices. Then he asked them, “Men of the Quraysh! What do you think I will do to you?”. They said, “We hope for the best. You are a noble brother and the son of a noble brother!”. The Prophet (s.a.w.) replied, “I say to you what Yusuf said to his brothers, “No reproach shall be on you this day.” Go on your way, you are free.” 

The prophet Mohammed (PBUH) and the prophet Yusuf (PBUH), they both could've taken they're revenge on these people who have greatly wronged them. But no they chose not to! For me the perfect explanation is demonstrated in the following hadith : [ The Prophet (saws) regarded the one who controls himself when he is angry as being the strongest of men. Al-Bukhaari narrated in al-Saheeh (6114) that the Messenger of Allaah (saws) said: "The strong man is not the one who can wrestle (fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of anger." ]. You control your anger even though you have the power to do whatever it is that satisfies you at that moment since you're capable of it. what makes you special in the eyes of the prophet is when you let go of it for the sake of Allah! 

8. I saved the best for the last =D ... Remember that you could end up in Jannah for this, so don't ever let any grudge stand between you and Jannah/heaven ;) ...  The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was seated in a gathering with the Sahabah when he looked towards the entrance and said, “A man of Paradise is coming.” At that instance someone who seemed to be very ordinary entered the masjid where they were seated. One sahabi was curious as to why the Prophet had said such a thing about this man, so he followed the man to his house. The sahabi told the man that he was a traveler, and was invited to stay as a guest. For three days the sahabi saw nothing unusual, so he finally told the man what the Prophet had said and asked him what was so special. The man thought for a long time and said, “There might be one thing — before going to sleep every night I  forgive everyone and sleep with a clean heart.”

So brothers and sisters, let go of your grudges today and sleep with a clean heart. Tomorrow the day is new, and life goes on. You have far to go and much to do. Look ahead, with a sunrise in your eyes =D 

Don't forget to give me feedback please. Share ,share and share this as much as you can =D and finally Jazakom Allah khair for reading/watching this article/video (: 


My next video would probably be about Ramadan or something inshAllah, if you have any good ideas do let me know by contacting me via my e-mail address: thegoldengirl157@gmail.com 

Wassalam =D 

Khawater Muslimah 1 - How to change yourself =D

How to change yourself video version =>       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BToPcnmEtjc

Ramadan is around the corner and many of us want to change for the better, to become better persons and hence better Muslims.

Well I've searched a lot about 'how to change yourself' on the internet since I'm no scholar and no therapist,  and I found some lovely videos and articles that I summarized   in my own words and will be sharing it with you :)

I want this video/article to be your turning point in life so please do get a notebook and note down the steps =D

1. Start off by asking yourself ;"Where am I ? and Where do I want to be/who do I want to be? "

2. Then ask yourself ; "Do I want to change or am I ready to change?" ,if you're answer is I want to change only but you're not really ready to change then you're third step will be to get yourself ready to change. Do belittle this step because it's very vital in the whole of process of changing ourselves.

3. Also ask yourself ; "Is it important for me to change?", because if it's not you're going to stop halfway through which won't do you any good. It would've actually been a waste of your time if it wasn't important to you

4. Do it for you, not for your parents nor for your friends or anyone else!

5. Realize that you can only change yourself, no matter how many people support you and are there for you. They won't change you because you're the only one that is capable of doing that! Allah will help you but that is after you take the first step yourself ; just like Allah said [ Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves (13:11) ]

6. This is a very important step, and it is where you ask Allah (SWT) to help you out in whatever it is you'll be doing it, and pray sincerely. Talk to Allah like he's your best friend and tell Allah that you'll be changing this and that about yourself and that you will never make it through without his help and beg Allah to help you throughout the journey. Trust me on that! (this really worked for me when I tried to quit watching Korean movies due to their negative impact on me.)

7. Don't make your plan of change depend on your emotions. In other words , don't make the change just because you're excited/hyped up/enthusiastic about it. Do it because you want to change for example : to have a healthier body, to become a better Muslim in my community etc. Just like Dr. Tarik Al-Habeeb said ; [Don't let your emotions change into projects] which means don't let your projects be based on your emotions. (hopefully that's a correct translation).

8. Remember that throughout the whole journey that you should constantly think of the results and keep imaging what they'll be like, also think of the rewards (: ... Example ; buy a size 2-4 jeans/shirt and place it in your room for motivation or think of the reward you get for learning tajweed even though you;re not an Arabic native speaker etc ;)

9. Well then how do I change GoldenGirl?!  .. well, that is by taking baby steps !

You want to lose weight start changing your food gradually and start exercising gradually as well because taking a HUGE step and starting off by running for a marathon is going to exhaust you and hence will surely be a drawback for you. so start with something that's laughably easy =)

10. Making the decision is the most important part  because once you've made that decision there is no turning back because you'll be telling yourself "I will never stop something I've already started" ;) 

In this Ramadan ,what is it that you want to achieve ? Is is that you want to quit listening to Music? or perhaps stop gossiping? or is it maybe to actually start reading Quran since it's been so long since the last time you actually even looked at it? Write down what you want to achieve in Ramadan 2012 in order of priority and then take each one and plan out how you'll do it and try you're best to connect them together so that you don't feel like you have so much to do. And mainly focus on the 'Priorities' and if it's necessary  then cross the ones at the bottom of the list if you felt that it's too much :D

I recommend reading a great book written by Abraham Hicks[Ibrahim fi8i] - may his soul Rest In Peace - available in both Arabic and English ;

http://www.mediafire.com/?42kxm28kqidoffy    =>  Arabic Version!

http://www.keepyourbobberup.com/law_of_attaction.pdf       => English Version !

Give me feedback please and don't forget to share this article with friends and family ;)

If anyone would like to help me in my next article/video that will be inshAlah about "Holding grudges?" (the topic might change thought) then please contact me on my e-mail address : thegoldengirl157@gmail.com  =D

Khawater Muslimah Introduction =D

I'd be starting a new Video series on my YouTube Channel that will be named "Khawater  Muslimah" which basically means Thoughts of a Muslimah.


If anyone would like to help me out in picking the topics or in making my video starting from helping out by providing links to articles of similar topics all the way to helping me in the video editting, you will have to just contact me on my e-mail address thegoldengirl157@gmail.com and let me know what you will help me with.


I'd most probably mention the next Topic at the end of every video inshAllah.


I'd like to thank everyone who supported me and encouraged me to do this (:


Here is the video to the Introduction video to the video series!




Jazakom Allah khair =D

Jihad Al-Nafs & Abandoning Bad Company (:

Salam Alaykom wa rahmatu Allahi Wa Barakatu brothers and sisters (:

Today I'll be talking about Jihad Al-Nafs  & Abandoning 'Bad Company' (:

The video=> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p6BnuEqcnw

When the term "Jihad" is mentioned, the first meaning that frequently comes to the minds of many people is fighting on the battlefield. Yet, this is only one type of Jihad, for Jihad has a much wider scope of meanings. Ibn Al-Qayyim said in his famous book, Zad Al-Ma'ad, "Jihad is four types: Jihad An-Nafs (one's self); Jihad Ash-Shaytan (Satan); Jihad Al-Kuffar (the disbelievers) and Al-Munafiqin (the hypocrites); and Jihad Ahlu (those who indulge in) Ath-Thulm (injustice), Al-Bid'ah (innovation in the religion) andAl-Munkarat (sin and evil).

"The best type of jihaad is the jihaad of the one who strives against his own self (jihaad al-nafs) for the sake of Allaah."

It as if you are divided into two, the good side of you (al-nafs al-lawama which is the one that makes you feel guilty for being bad and doing bad things which makes you strive to become a "better Muslim" ) and the bad side of you (al-nafs al-a'marra bil su' which is the ones that orders you to do bad and is supported by the Satan from both Jinn and Inns). I know it's really tiring  to keep on constantly fighting yourself but according to this Ayah {As for those who STRIVE (JAHADU) in Us (the cause of Allah), We surely guide them to Our paths, and O! Allah is with the good doers.} (29:69), Allah SWT will make it easier for you soon and you won't to have to fight this specific habit/wanting do it. Example ; you fight yourself to stop backbiting your teachers ,at first it's hard but as time goes on Allah will make you hate doing such a thing and therefore you'll stop doing it automatically without really having to fight it anymore (:

So, Our nafs is something that we need to purify  because without purification, the nafs remains a "soul that enjoins evil" (al-nafs al-ammara bil-su') until it surrenders itself in total obedience to the call of animal passions and shaytan. Just like Allah said: "By the nafs and the proportion and order given to it, and its inspiration as to its wrong and its right; truly he succeeds who purifies it, and he fails that corrupts it" (91:7-10).

For you to become a better Muslim ,you need to quit living your life following your Own hawa/lust but instead you'll be  following the Quran and the Sunnah. I'm sure no one of us wants to be like the people described in the following Surah ;{ Have you seen the one who chooses for his god his own lust?} (25:43). {He followed his own lust. Therefore his likeness is as the likeness of a dog; if you attack him he pants with his tongue out and if you leave him he pants with his tongue out} (7:176).

There is a reward for those who fight their lust and don't follow it and those who controlled the passion of their ego as Allah says: {But as for him who feared to stand before his Lord and restrained his soul from lust, O! The garden will be his home} (79:40-41)

So, how do you fight it? Well in my Opinion, It's Is that you remind yourself of the reward you'll get from fighting yourself (Heaven)  or for you to remind yourself of the punishment you'll get from doing the sin/not fighting your nafs. 

But here is what I found Online;

1.       Ignorance is  one of the allies of ( Nafs Al-ammara bi su') and hence you need to increase your knowledge about Islam is by  reading books about the Prophet PBUH ,reading tasfsir of the Quran and perhaps watching videos on youtube by Imams and sheikhs that refer to authentic sources such as Amr Khaled , Nouman Ali khan etc.

2.       Abandon the bad company. How to know they're a bad company; just ask yourself 'do these so-called-friends-of-mine make me a better person or change me to the worst. i.e. Am I slowly abandoning Salah for example" . I know it's hard especially if you truly love them. Simply join Halaqs in the masjid in order to make new friends/good company and you'll sooner or later leave the bad company you used to have. Also do ask for Allah's help.

3.       Try doing good deeds if you're too lazy/too weak then force yourself to do it.Also striving to make one act in accordance with what one has learned. Simply knowing without acting, even though it may not cause any harm, is not going to bring any benefit.

4.       If you have too much free time which might be one of the factors that make it even harder to avoid sinning etc then fill your time with productive things like Memorizing the Quran ,if you're a Non-Arab then try learning Arabic online or via attending a professional institute. Learn the Tajweed , do some volunteering. Educate yourself do whatever it is that you find interesting that is at the same time something 'good' so that you get rewarded for it  (:

You should make Jihad against your parents in case they go against you trying to become  religious or even trying to convert to Islam.

Don't forget to have Patience for As Allah said : {Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease. (65:7)}

):More About Jihad Al- Nafs [in Arabic though] :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4TFQyHYU3U

 

Now I'll elaborate bit more regarding the bad company part =D 

“Man is on the religion of his friend, so let every one of you examine whom he befriends.” (Aboo Dawood and others).

The Messenger of Allah also laid an example for a good and evil companions with perceptible things when he said,

“The example of the good and evil companions is like a bearer of musk and a person blowing a pair of bellows. As for the musk bearer, he either gives you some, or you buy from him or at least you get a pleasant smell from him. As for the bellows blower he either gets your clothes burnt or you get an unpleasant smell from him.” (Al–Bukharee and Muslim)

One companion asked Rasulullah (saw), “Who can be my best friend?”

Rasulullah (saw) answered, “Your best friend is a person:

*when you see him, he makes you remember Allah ;

*when you listen to him, knowledge of Islam is increased; and

*when you see his actions, you are reminded of the life of the Hereafter .”

Brothers and sisters in faith! The worst of all companions is the one who has had a bad influence on his friend, is weak religiously, evil in conduct, has no clear conscience and nothing good is said of his behavior.

 

Whether you love them deeply or not ask for Allah's help to get away from then because I'm sure you don't want to end up like this; “And (remember) the Day when the wrongdoer will bite at his hands, he will say: O! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger (Muhammad). Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so–and–so as a friend. He indeed led me astray from the reminder (the Qur’an) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need.” (Al–Furqaan 25: 27–29)

Believe it or not, these so-called-friends-of-yours will ;  “Friends on that Day (the Day of Judgement) will be foes except al–Muttaqoon (the pious).” (Az–Zukhruf 43: 67) only if they are 'bad company' =O

This is Allah's advice to the Prophet PBUH and you me, the whole nation ; “And obey not him whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance, one who follows his own lust and whose affairs (deeds) have been lost.” (Al–Kahf 18: 28)

Choosing your friends:

If your aim was to be an athlete, a sports personality, then you would try to be with people who also want to become athletes or those who are already athletes. You would learn from them, train with them, go to the sport centre and even hang around with them; in fact you would try to do all that you can to achieve your goal.

Similarly as Muslims our goal is Paradise and not Hell. Therefore it only seems logical that we should try to arrange our life and activities to be around those who also share the same goal and at the same time stay away from those who have chosen another way, those who are forgetful, wicked and commit sins. A true friend shows you success in this world and the hereafter whereas a misguided friend is trickery and cunning.

Friends are those who love you not for who you are or what you have but purely for Allah. Those who are with you in times of happiness and also in sadness. They help you in preference to themselves.

I'm sure you'll want your friends and you to end up as stated in the following Hadith ;

Umar ibn Al-Khattab (radiAllahu anhu) states that the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said: "There will be some slaves of Allah who will be neither from the prophets or martyrs but on account of their high position before Allah the prophets and martyrs will envy them. The people asked who will these be? The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) replied those persons who loved each other for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala even though there was no blood relation, they give their wealth to one another. By God, from their faces light will shine and they will be riding the light. When the people will be shuddering with fear, they will have no fear and when the people will be sad they will have no sorrow." [Abu Dawud]

4. 'Two men who love each other for Allaah's sake, meeting for that and parting upon that....' 

Having mutual love for the sake of Allaah is one of the great doors leading to the good of the Hereafter and a cause of tasting the sweetness of Eemaan in this world. Loving one another for Allaah's sake means that the Muslim does not love another except for the correctness of his Deen. So it does not matter what the person looks like, what he wears, how rich or poor he is, where he comes from, or what the colour of his skin is - perhaps you dislike everything about him, but you love him for his Eemaan: this is loving for Allaah's sake. 

'Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent says: 'Those who have mutual love for the sake of My Glory will have pillars of light and will be envied the Prophets and martyrs.' Saheeh - Collected in Sunan at-Tirmidhee & Musnad Ahmad (5/336-7) (:

You could check the following links for some more information about Today's Topic (they were also my Reference):

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?130627-Jihad-an-Nafs

http://jannatulfirdauz-tice.blogspot.com/2010/09/jihad-al-nafs-spiritual-striving.html

http://www.saaid.net/Doat/ahdal/021.htm

http://www.islamawareness.net/Jihad/types_jihad.html

http://www.islaam.net/main/display.php?id=539&category=141

http://www.lightofislam.info/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=80

 http://www.islamset.com/islam/hadith/sayings/part-2.html

http://hadith-e-mohammad.blogspot.com/2010/11/good-company.html 

http://www.jannah.org/articles/intheshade.html

http://deenislam.webs.com/typesofjihad.htm

Jazakom AllahkKhair for reading ,Please help in sharing it with friends and family (:

Don't forget to include me in your prayers ,Please =D