Khawater Muslimah 2 – Holding grudges (:

Assalamu Alykom wa rahmatu allahi wa barakatu =D 


Holding grudges video version =>  http://youtu.be/Ms2rFOL5IS8


"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die" 

In life, we as humans are bound to get hurt from anyone and most of the time it's totally unpredictable. Do you know why?  Well that's because "every son of Adam is bound to make mistakes/to sin but the best of the sinners are those who repent"

I plead to you brothers and sisters, that you let it go. Because When you hate someone, they don’t feel it . Only you do. It affects only your own heart, until your heart hardens and your vision narrows, and life loses its joy and zest!

Please, put in mind the following whenever someone wrongs you:

**  Always tell yourself : "How can I love Allah SWT wholeheartedly if my heart is occupied with hating this person for doing that to me ,and that person for doing this to me?!" Let Allah be Number ONE in your heart so that you live happily and you woudld be from those who are  described as follows ; [ The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, “Strange is the affair of the Mu’min (the believer), verily all his affairs are good for him. If something pleasing befalls him he thanks (Allah) and it becomes better for him. And if something harmful befalls him he is patient (Saabir) and it becomes better for him. And this is only for the Mu’mmin"]

1. Whatever others have done against you, let it go. Consign it to Allah, then forgive. Whatever you have done against others, apologize and ask forgiveness, and ask Allah’s forgiveness as well. Because just like Allah (SWT) ; [ "who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good-doers)." (3:134)] and in another verse, Allah (SWT) said; [“Pardon them and overlook .Indeed, Allah loves the doers of good. (5:13)]. If you're strong enough go to that person and tell him/her to his/her face "I forgive you" with a big smiley face and hug that person and tell them it's over and that there is no grudge between you. 

2. Thank Allah for allowing you to see that person's true colors. Since now you know the truth ,the next time you come across this person you would be careful with your words and actions and hence would act more wisely (: 

3. Remember that forgiveness doesn't mean that you don't learn from the trial. Because it would be stupid of us to make the same mistake all the time but with new people! Hence, grab that notebook of yours and note down what you learned from the experience so that in the future you do a much better job in such situations. 

4. If that person is a Bad person and you feel that advising him/her won't do them any good since they don't listen etc , then simply try your best to always include them in your dua'as/prayers and make sure to pray for Allah to guide them =]

5. Don't waste your time by making bad dua'as for them, for example: [May Allah make him/her experience triple the pain that I felt] and such. Because you are simply just wasting your time and energy ! 

6. We must never insult them or speak badly about them because the Prophet (saws) was not a person who insulted or cursed others. It was reported in Saheeh al-Bukhaari (6031) that Anas ibn Maalik (raa) said: The Prophet (saws) was not a person who insulted people or used obscene language, and he did not curse people. If he wanted to rebuke anyone, he would say, "What is wrong with him? - may his forehead be rubbed with dust." 

7. Learn from the Prophet and the Sahaba and the tabieen. I've got some really good examples;

• When Yusuf (PBUH) sees his brothers for the first time and after all those years ,his brothers you threw him in the well ,his brothers who plotted against him time and time again. He said; ["No blame will there be upon you today. Allah will forgive you ; and He is the most merciful of the merciful." (12:92)]
• On the day of Fath Makka,the Prophet (s.a.w.) stood at the door of the Ka’bah, holding its frame and spoke at length to his former persecutors humbled before him, explaining several laws of Islam and abolishing all pagan practices. Then he asked them, “Men of the Quraysh! What do you think I will do to you?”. They said, “We hope for the best. You are a noble brother and the son of a noble brother!”. The Prophet (s.a.w.) replied, “I say to you what Yusuf said to his brothers, “No reproach shall be on you this day.” Go on your way, you are free.” 

The prophet Mohammed (PBUH) and the prophet Yusuf (PBUH), they both could've taken they're revenge on these people who have greatly wronged them. But no they chose not to! For me the perfect explanation is demonstrated in the following hadith : [ The Prophet (saws) regarded the one who controls himself when he is angry as being the strongest of men. Al-Bukhaari narrated in al-Saheeh (6114) that the Messenger of Allaah (saws) said: "The strong man is not the one who can wrestle (fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of anger." ]. You control your anger even though you have the power to do whatever it is that satisfies you at that moment since you're capable of it. what makes you special in the eyes of the prophet is when you let go of it for the sake of Allah! 

8. I saved the best for the last =D ... Remember that you could end up in Jannah for this, so don't ever let any grudge stand between you and Jannah/heaven ;) ...  The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was seated in a gathering with the Sahabah when he looked towards the entrance and said, “A man of Paradise is coming.” At that instance someone who seemed to be very ordinary entered the masjid where they were seated. One sahabi was curious as to why the Prophet had said such a thing about this man, so he followed the man to his house. The sahabi told the man that he was a traveler, and was invited to stay as a guest. For three days the sahabi saw nothing unusual, so he finally told the man what the Prophet had said and asked him what was so special. The man thought for a long time and said, “There might be one thing — before going to sleep every night I  forgive everyone and sleep with a clean heart.”

So brothers and sisters, let go of your grudges today and sleep with a clean heart. Tomorrow the day is new, and life goes on. You have far to go and much to do. Look ahead, with a sunrise in your eyes =D 

Don't forget to give me feedback please. Share ,share and share this as much as you can =D and finally Jazakom Allah khair for reading/watching this article/video (: 


My next video would probably be about Ramadan or something inshAllah, if you have any good ideas do let me know by contacting me via my e-mail address: thegoldengirl157@gmail.com 

Wassalam =D