Khawater Muslimah 5 - Foul Language ;)

Assalam Alaykom Wa rahmatu Allahi Wa Barakatu Brothers and Sisters =D 

A bad 'wound'  heals, but a bad 'word' does not ;)

"Foul Language" video version =>  
I strongly recommend this video => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_57ZTxPRKHQ

Nowadays when you're with your friends or your daughter's/son's friends all you hear is sarcastic remarks and foul language and a lot of laughter after that.  When you reprimand them for using such language, what do they say? "O come on!  This is how everyone talks! " or "This is how I 'express' myself ", or "We don't mean it in a bad way, we're just joking around with each other !". Subhaan Allaah! Since when did that become a 'joke'? Since when did cussing become a part of a Muslim's vocabulary?! 

Why should we STOP cursing? because guarding one's speech is so important that Muslims will be held accountable for everything they say: “Not a word does he (or she) utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it )” (Qur'an 50:18).

I agree that sometimes we swear/curse because we're angry but the real question is ,did the prophet used to do any of these things? NO! so then how did the Prophet (PBUH) behave? 

Anas bin Malik said: "The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) was not one who would abuse (others) or say obscene words, or curse (others)..." (Bukhaari)

And Abdullah bin 'Amr said: "The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) never used bad language neither a 'Faahish nor a Mutafaahish. He used to say 'The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.' (Bukhaari)

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "O 'Aaishah! Have you ever seen me speaking a bad and dirty language? (Remember that) the worst people in Allah's sight on the Day of Resurrection will be those whom the people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language  or from their transgression." (Bukhaari)

“So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].”( 3:159 ).

When we are provoked and inclined to say something hurtful, let us bite the words off. Breathe deeply, praise Allah, seek refuge from Shaytan. Don’t say those mean words, don’t send that angry email. Because words persist. They root themselves in our brains and wait, ready to spring out in an argument years later.

Instead say as this sweet lady (May Allah bless her with Firdaus, ameen) did, whenever she was upset at anyone, she would say "May Allah Taala show you the light".  she was asked to why she says that when she is angry at someone, and the sweet lady replied "when a person is angry their emotions are at a peak, at that time instead of cursing the person, if you make a duaa for their Hidayaah/guidance , then inshaAllah it will be a Win Win situation. 

There are numerous hadiths regarding foul language and here are some of them ;

Ibn Masoud narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “A Muslim is not a person who slanders, curses, speaks obscene words or is abusive.”  

Abdullah Bin Omar narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “A Muslim is a person whom all Muslims are safe from his tongue and hands.” 

 Mu’adh narrated that "The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) mentioned to him what brings him closer to Paradise and what makes him be farther from the Hellfire, and then he told him: “Shall I not inform you of what controls all that.”  Mu’adh said: “Please tell me O! Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam)”.  So the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) took his tongue (with his fingers) and told him: “Restraint this one.”  Then Mu’adh said: “O! Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam), are we held accountable for what we say.”The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “How are you asking this question?”  People are not thrown into the Hellfire on their faces or noses except due to the result of their tongues ”

Abud-Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet  said, "Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of the believer than good manners. Allah hates one who utters foul or coarse language'" '[At-Tirmidhi].

And as for cursing (i.e. la'ana)  specifically, there are hadiths as well :

Cursing is smthn like ' May Allah disgrace you! " which is unfortunately said constantly by Arab's youth as a joke =(

Narrated Samurah Ibn Jundub (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not curse one another, invoking curse of Allah or Wrath of Allah or the fire of Hell.’ [Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee]

Narrated Abu Darda (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘When a person curses (La’nah; to ask that something be deprived of Allah’s Mercy) somebody or something, the curse goes up to the heaven and the gates of the heaven are closed. Then it comes down to the earth and its gates are closed. Then it turns right and left, and if it does not find an entrance to go anywhere, it returns to the person or thing that was cursed, if he or it deserves to be cursed; otherwise, it returns to the person, who uttered it.’ [Abu Dawood] Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) also warned, ‘Those who frequently resort to cursing would neither be accepted as witnesses nor as intercessors on the Day of Resurrection.’ [Saheeh Muslim]

‘A drunkard was brought to the Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam). He (r) said, ‘Give him a beating.’ Then some beat him with their hands, some with their shoes, and some with (a folded) piece of cloth. When he left, someone said to him, ‘May Allah disgrace you!‘ The Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not help Shaytan overcome him by uttering such words.’ [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

 ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘A true believer  is not involved in taunting, or frequently cursing or in indecency or abusing.” [At-Tirmidhee]

Cursing a believer is a great crime that a Muslim should never dare to commit. To illustrate the enormity of this crime, it is enough to mention the Hadeeth where the Prophet (PBUH)  said: "Cursing a believer is like killing him.”

 He should recall the prohibition of the Prophet (PBUH) in the Hadeeth where he said: “Do not curse one another invoking the curse of Allaah, the wrath of Allaah, or the fire of Hell.”

A few storied of the Sahaba regarding the matter ;

Narrated Sa'id ibn al-Musayyab: While the Prophet Mohammed (peace_be_upon_him) was sitting with some of his companions, a man reviled AbuBakr and insulted him. But AbuBakr remained silent. He insulted him twice, but AbuBakr controlled himself. He insulted him thrice and AbuBakr took revenge on him. Then the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) got up when AbuBakr took revenge. AbuBakr said: Were you angry with me, O prophet of allah ? 
The prophet (peace_be_upon_him) replied: An angel came down from Heaven and he was rejecting what he had said to you. When you took revenge, a devil came down. I was not going to sit when the devil came down.

 Ibn Abi Hatim recorded that `A'ishah said, "Some Jews came to the Prophet and greeted him by saying, `As-Sam `Alayka, O Abul-Qasim.(Death be Upon you O father of Qasim)" ,the Prophet said  `wa `Alaykum As-Sam (the same upon you).'  I said to them, `wa `Alaykum As-Sam wa alla'na (death by upon you too and may Allah disgrace you).' The Prophet said,(O `A'ishah, Allah does not like rudeness and foul speech.) I said, `Didn't you hear them say, `As-Sam Alayka' He said,(Didn't you hear me answering them back by saying, `Wa `Alaykum (And the same upon you)'

Here is what Allah (SWT) said in his holy book about this ;

O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers. [ 49:11 ]

Allah says, “Do not worship except Allah; and to parents do good and to relatives, orphans, and the needy. And speak to people good [words] and establish prayer and give zakah.”(Quran, Al-Baqarah 2:83).

The Quran says, “and speak to them words of appropriate kindness.” (Quran, An-Nisaa’ 4:8). “Appropriate kindness”, what an interesting phrase! The Arabic word is “ma’roofan”. It means speak the truth, but kindly, without arrogance or anger.

Similarly, Allah says, “O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.” (Quran, Al-Ahzab 33:70).

How to STOP this habit of mine then ?!

0  Individuals can try putting a rubber band around the wrist, and every time they curse, snap it.

0 Cut out the curse words and replace with silly words like Oh shoot! , What the bananas! or I don't give a banana's about or using sentences with the phrase "fill in the blank" or just saying the word "beep" instead. or What the French toast or *fudge* and *holy shrimp!*or "go to Jannah/Heaven"

or other such examples.

0 After cursing, stop and repeat the sentence without the curse word

0 Every time you curse, put a designated amount of money into a jar. At the end of each week, donate the money to charity.

0 Follow the prophet's ways of handling anger to calm your mind and quiet your thoughts, so that you do not speak before you think.

0 Use a thesaurus to find more creative words to express yourself.

0 Best for the LAST,  Stay away from people who speak such bad language. Because the more you hear it, the more desensitized one becomes to its evil, until a time comes when its not bad anymore.

I would like to take a moment and thank Allah (SWT) for the success that I've accomplished so far in my videos and thank my fans who supported me by sharing my videos and those who supported me at the beginning as well as those who until this very moment give me their feedback for almost all my videos/articles , Jazakom Allah khair =D

Don't forget to subscribe to my channel on YouTube and Share ..Share AND Share this article/video and to contact me on my e-mail address thegoldengirl157@gmail.com with your feedback or ideas for the next video inshAllah ;)

Jazakom Alah khair =D 

Khawater Muslimah 4 - Why wear the Hijab ;)

Assalamu Alaykom Wa Rahmatu Wa Barakatu brothers and sisters = )

A woman in hijab is like a pearl in it's shell  <3

"Why wear the Hijab " video version => http://youtu.be/W_Qmy3-sCxE


A video that I strongly recommend => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AeEbkPaPgU

A Beautiful Guide on 'how to wear it'  => http://ababilzahra.blogspot.com/2010/11/hijaban-awesome-pride-for-ladies.html

When we as humans do something wrong we try to somehow justify what we did by giving excuses, so I got almost all the excuses that you could possibly come up with from the  lecture by Amr Khalid that gives a reasonable Islamic reply to all the excuses we give ourselves for NOT wearing the Hijab, this is literally said by him I just copy pasted it to my blog  :)


Sorry that it's LONG but you don't have to read it ALL just scroll down to the excuse that YOU came up with so that you don't get bored while reading  =)

First Excuse - I'M NOT CONVINCED OF THE HIJAB

So I'd ask you, ‘what are you?’, You would reply, ‘I'm a Muslim’. What is the meaning of Muslim? A meaning of a Muslim/and Islam is to submit yourself totally to Allah.  Prophet Ibrahim had to sacrifice his son and he didn't understand why he had to do such a thing. So that teaches us how to submit to Allah’s word. I would rather hear you say that you are not strong enough to put the Hijab on, than you to say that you are not convinced with Allah’s own words.

Second Excuse - ‘THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS WHAT IS IN THE INSIDE’

The women who say the most important thing is what is in the inside, that her intentions are always good, and she is a good person, and the Hijab is the Hijab of the heart. And these women say that she prays 5 times a day, better than 60 men of you, and she prays the Night Prayers, and she prays the Sunnah prayers, and she really does all of these things! And she gives charity- But, she says, you know,well  that's enough worship for me!

SubhanAllah. The Prophet (saw) says: You cannot take parts of Islam and reject other parts. You have to take the religion as a whole.

So let us calculate it, you are saying that you are doing a lot of good deeds, etc and that your intentions are good, and your heart is pure. Alright, I agree with you, but I want to ask you one question. Let us calculate this together. Every day you go out every man that looks at your hair and your body- do you take sins or not? Of course you take sins because you didn't obey Allah’s command. And you'll find that the lady will argue: It's not my fault, my intentions are good, it's the man that will take sins for looking at me. No sister. He will take sins if he stares at you because you were attracting attention by exposing certain parts of your body.

Everyday how many sins does a woman who doesn't wear the Hijab  take? Would it go over a thousand sins a day or not? And remember, the man has two eyes! Not one! And the man has a heart that loves and desires and wishes. Can you imagine the sins the woman is getting? I wonder if your good deeds will be enough. Will they outweigh the thousands of sins you are getting every day? I want you to do a little experiment, every day you go out, count how many sins you are getting, on your way out, on the bus/train, at work, on the streets, etc. How many sins do you get for every man that looks at your hair/body?

Didn't Allah order you to wear the Hijab? I am afraid that your good deeds are falling from a torn bag. The good deeds enter the top and escape from the hole at the bottom.

Third Excuse - THE HIJAB AND HOT WEATHER

The woman can complain that she loses her hair when she puts on the Hijab, because of the heat - So come on, do you want me to lose my hair and get bold? So I won't put it on because my hair falls off.

Sister, Allah says: Say that the Hell fire is stronger than the heat of the world.

The Prophet (saw) said: Hell is surrounded by our desires, and Jannah is surrounded by the good things.

Fourth Excuse - COMPARING

The women say that they knew ladies that wore the Hijab and they had the worst of manners, and did the worst of things. So I don't want to put the Hijab on because I don't want to be like them. Okay, I argue to the sister that thinks that: I know people who pray, but do bad things- does that mean we shouldn't pray? Some people go to Hajj so that they can hide under the title of Hajj so that they can do bad things and no one will suspect because they apparently went to Hajj which makes them free from all sins. Does that mean we shouldn't go to hajj? So sister, the wrong is not in the religion, but in the people themselves. So is the hijab bad or the person who wears the hijab is bad?

Fifth Excuse - ALLAH HAS NOT GUIDED ME YET

‘I will put on the Hijab, but Allah hasn't guided me to do so now. So when I am 50 years old and I have enjoyed my life, I'll put on the Hijab’. No, sister, this excuse is totally wrong. Allah says: Allah does not change a people's situation unless they change what is within themselves. You will not put the Hijab on until you change what is within yourself and work towards putting on the Hijab. It's not acceptable for you to say that Allah has not guided you- no, he has guided you and the proof is that you are listening to/reading these words. The reason you are listening to these words is Allah opening the journey of guidance to you. Allah will never leave a person unless He gives him guidance, so it is up to that person to obey or not.

Sixth Excuse - WHEN I GET MARRIED I'LL PUT ON THE HIJAB

A lot of men look for the pious, religious woman who respects herself with her Hijab- more than those men who look for the other women. And Allah has written who you will marry anyway! So you won't marry anyone else except for that person that Allah has chosen for you. Don't be afraid; put your trust in Allah. Allah will give you the pious husband. So when you marry, marry someone who will love you for your faith and respect you.

A man came to a scholar and asked him - If I'm going to marry my sister to someone, who should it be? The Scholar replied, marry her to a man who is a friend of Islam, so if he loved her, he will respect her, and if he hated her, he will not treat her badly.  

Seventh  Excuse - I'M STILL YOUNG

Do you know when you'll die sister? The youth's deaths are increasing! I will give you an example of a girl; a true story that really happened.

This happened in Egypt, Alexandria last year in Ramadan. The man was telling me that his wife is a Hijabi. Living in front of them was a young girl who is not a Hijabi . And the girl has good things inside her heart, like all of our sisters in Islam, but she doesn't understand the meaning of the Hijab and the meaning it has in Islam. So he said that his wife (and this is obligatory for all the women who wear Hijab) had good relations with this girl. She didn't ignore her just because she doesn't wear the Hijab, no, she was friends with her. So one day the young girl had come to ask the wife if she'd come shopping with her to buy a jeans suit. So the intelligent wife who knows that she has to give the girl dawah [knowledge of Islam] agreed to go shopping with her, but under one condition, the girl comes with the wife to an Islamic circle that was going to start. The girl agreed.

So they went to the circle and it was about repentance to Allah. And the girl was so inspired by what was being said, and started to cry until she kept repeating one sentence over and over again: I've repented Allah, please someone cover me. The people told her okay let us take you home and you can put the Hijab on. But she refused, wanting to be covered right at that moment with the Hijab; she couldn't go out without it. So they got her a scarf and a dress, and she left the building with it on. And as soon as she left to cross the road, a car hit her and she died.
I swear this is a true story. She repented before she had died.  So never give the excuse that you are still young, because you never know when you will die.

{ *** A girl should start wearing the Hijab/Scarf when she 


reaches puberty !! }

Eighth Excuse - I WANT TO FOLLOW THE FASHION AND IF I WEAR THE HIJAB I'LL BE OUT OF FASHION

Isn't Allah dearer to you than fashion? I swear when you put the Hijab on you'll have light shining from within you, and you'll be more beautiful  with your Hijab.

Ninth Excuse - I WANT TO FOLLOW THE WESTERNERS

Okay sister, who respects the woman more? Are the westerners the ones who have respected the woman or exploited the woman? Or Islam, who has respected the woman and covered her and liberated her from exploitation ?

Tenth Excuse: I DON'T WANT TO BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF TAKING IT OFF

SubhanAllah, sister, why don't you put it on with firm faith and ask Allah to always protect you with it and never take it off? Of course I'm not saying that taking off the Hijab isn't a sin. Taking off the Hijab is the biggest sin, the biggest sin, the biggest sin. It's the biggest sin because you would be encouraging other women to do the same. Never ever do this; Allah (swt) would hate that.

Wear the Hijab and do these three things to make sure you will never take it off.

1- Having good religious friends.

2- Attending and listening to Islamic lectures

3- Make duaa (supplications) to ask Him to keep your Hijab on and strengthen your faith.

Reference => http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/im-constantly-battling-over-whether-to-wear-hijab-or-not/

At the end remember that it's your right , your choice and your life , I was only trying to give you a reminder and hopefully I gave you that little push you needed to make your decision ;) 

Jazakom Allah Khair for reading/watching the article/video =D  Please help in sharing  this article/video =)


If you have any ideas for the next video/article  then please do let me know by conacting me via my e-mail address ; thegoldengirl157@gmail.com